Finding out that their parents are divorcing is a challenging point for children. It can lead to stress due to the major life changes that come with this situation. Children will handle things in various ways, so you have to try to address the ones that come up with your kids.
There are several things that parents can do to help their children during this time. It is imperative that you consider the situation, so you can determine which options are best for them.
One thing that you and your ex should do together is tell the kids about the divorce. This shows them that you will remain a parenting team and might quell their fears that they won't have both parents active in their life.
When you discuss the divorce as a group, it also ensures that everyone is on the same page. You and your ex both know what information the children get, which can be beneficial.
Try to keep conflicts away from the children. If you and your ex have to discuss something contentious, do it when the kids aren't around. Don't ever use them as messengers because this can cause them to have internal conflicts and might make them think that they have to chose one parent over the other.
You should also try to get the parenting plan established quickly. This helps to provide them with stability they need to thrive. If possible, try to keep major components of their schedule the same during the divorce. You and your ex might be able to work out agreements about things like bedtime and schedules for schoolwork.