Leaving an abusive relationship isn't as easy as what some people think it is. The tolls of the abuse in the marriage can make it difficult for a person to walk away. One of the impacts of living as an abused spouse is that your self esteem waivers, which makes it hard to start a new life.
Understanding that you aren't alone in what you're going through might help you as you plan to leave. The rollercoaster effect is one that can lead to things becoming even more challenging when you try to walk away. After each incident of abuse, there is likely going to be a phase where things seem like they're getting better. This is the up period, but at some point, there is going to be another down period during which the abuse begins again.
The cycle of control is another thing that can make it hard to walk away. It takes the average person seven attempts to leave before they're finally successful. This can lead to even more emotional damage because they continue to be placed in unhealthy situations and may be subjected to gaslighting.
Another issue that can occur is that you may feel like you are in danger if you leave the marriage. There is truth in this because a woman who leaves an abusive relationship is 70 times more likely to be killed within a few weeks span after she leaves than what she is even when she's still in the relationship. One way that you might be able to protect yourself in this situation is through the use of a protective order, which requires that the abuser avoid contacting you, but even this isn't foolproof.
If you're in an abusive relationship, remember that you do have options. Taking the step of filing for divorce can give you the fresh start that you need.