3 Ways to Communicate Effectively During a Divorce

When you and your partner choose to separate, communication becomes more important than ever. Find three effective tips for communication in this article.

No one gets married with the expectation that divorce will one day follow; however, nearly half of all American marriages end in divorce. If you and your partner have decided to terminate your relationship, you may deal with a variety of emotions: anxiety, frustration, or loss. Even if you both agree that divorce is the right decision, you may find that communicating with one another can be very difficult once you choose to end your relationship. Fortunately, there are several things you can do to communicate effectively and appropriate during this time.

1. Focus on moving forward.

Once you and your partner decide to separate, it's time to start moving forward with the divorce. Dividing your lives will take time, effort, and energy. During this time, try to avoid rehashing old fights or placing blame as to who or what led to your separation. Instead, keep your communication efforts focused on the divorce and your new lives, rather than on old arguments or hurts. Additionally, be careful what you say on social media regarding your divorce. Understand that anything you post may be shared or used by your attorneys during this time. If you do feel obligated to post about your relationship on social media, keep your posts simple and avoid bashing or saying anything that could be perceived as defamation.

2. Avoid using harsh language.

Remember that when you communicate, tones are everything. Words that are said with a smile may be helpful and beneficial. Those same words, when said with a frown, can be very hurtful. If you and your partner communicate with one another, make sure you're considering the words you're using. If you text one another, read your message and ask how your partner might perceive the message. Does it sound abrupt? Harsh? Mean? If it does, consider rewording the message to sound more neutral. Similarly, when you speak with one another in person, it's important to use calm language, rather than derogatory or cruel verbiage.

3. Share your wishes.

It's easy to assume that other people should know what you want during this time; however, remember that your partner is not a mind-reader. Neither is your attorney. Make sure you share exactly what your wishes and preferences are regarding the division of assets, child custody, and your parenting plan. Expressly stating your desires can help ensure a result you and your partner are both satisfied with. You may also want to consider meeting with a mediator who can guide you and your partner during this time. A mediation specialist can help ensure you're able to speak kindly to one another.

When you and your partner are ready to separate, make sure you consult with an attorney who can help you. Call today to schedule your appointment.