Being in an abusive marriage is a tough situation to be in. You might want to leave, but you may feel like you have too many obstacles to make that a reality. There comes a point where you have to decide that your safety comes first and that you can't let anything stop you. It might help you if take a step back and look at the situation from the outside. What would you think about the situation if it was your parent or sibling in the same scenario?
Some of the more common reasons why people stay in an abusive relationship are that they believe the abuser's excuses, and they feel like they don't have the ability to leave. Both of these can be hard to overcome.
As the victim of abuse, you shouldn't ever think that you are to blame. You can't control your spouse's actions. They are responsible for what they choose to do. Nothing that you do should lead to you being abused in any manner.
Sometimes, the problem that creeps up is that the victim worries about how society will view them if they leave the abusive relationship. Maybe your spouse is well-known or has a good standing in the community. This can make it hard to walk away because it might seem like everyone will take their side. This is actually very dangerous, so try to find out who you have on your side that will be there for you if you walk away.
Remember that you do have the option of turning to a domestic violence shelter. There are also legal avenues that you can use to try to keep the abuser away from you. Taking advantage of those won't make you completely safe, but it can help to increase your safety.