If you're one of many Pennsylvania residents who are preparing for divorce, your emotions may be a bit raw. Divorce is never easy, especially when there are children involved. Ending your marriage in court doesn't necessarily have to ruin your entire life although it's understandable that you may have good days and bad as you try to find closure in one chapter of your life and adapt to a new lifestyle.
It can be helpful to talk to trusted friends or family members who have gone through similar experiences. They may be able to give you some good advice regarding ways to help you come to terms with what has passed and get life back on track. There are several key issues that others have said have helped them move on in life after divorce, and each issue has to do with letting go.
Post-divorce life may be better without these things
No one can tell you a right or wrong way to emotionally heal from divorce because your situation and how you feel about it is unique. What works for you may not such a good idea for another person. However, people who divorce can often relate to each other on some emotional level. The following list includes ways to let go of the past so that you can lay the groundwork for a happy future:
- You may be harboring some anger due to past marital problems or current legal issues that are causing stress or delays in your divorce settlement. Trying to find ways to let go of anger is a great step toward emotional good health, and physical good health as well, since studies show that pent up anger can cause stress that prompts ill-health.
- Depending on the length of your marriage, you likely have many gifts and special items that represent times you shared with your spouse. It's okay to let go of rings, photographs, items you received from others when you got married or anything that causes you to focus too much on the past to the point that it impedes your ability to function in your new lifestyle.
- Your house may be the biggest item that reminds you of your marriage and all the memories that go with it, both good and bad. If you're financially able to move to a new place, it might be just what you need to help you heal.
- Some spouses say the biggest thing they had to let go when they divorced was their own expectations. Reality often doesn't play out the way people imagine. Moving on in life after divorce may be emotionally easier if you try to approach it without expecting a particular outcome.
It's okay to feel sad, lonely or mournful after your divorce. However, letting go of sadness is often critical toward the ability to build a new lifestyle. It can be difficult to let go of sadness (or anger) if your current circumstances are still problematic, especially if you haven't yet settled your divorce. Another thing it's okay to let go is feeling that you must go it alone. In court, as well as in daily life, you can reach out for support as needed.