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Settling child custody with an uncooperative ex-spouse


Many divorced couples, including those in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, understand that disputes arising from child custody and visitation can occur. Disputes are possible because parents are concerned about their child; however, sometimes, a divorced parent may be uncooperative with his or her co-parent because of bitter feelings toward the other spouse.

There are different motives as to why a co-parent remains difficult when settling child custody. One reason is that the person is seeking attention. When a divorced spouse acts stubbornly and an ex-spouse reacts in some negative way, it feeds into the need of the other spouse to gain the attention of the first spouse. Of course, being reactive can be an effective way to deal with a difficult spouse, but such actions may be provoked. Divorced parents should remember that cooperation between them can happen if the person remains calm and avoids things that can fuel the bad behavior of the other spouse.

A war is not a war unless there is an enemy. A misunderstanding cannot be resolved unless one of the divorced parents maintains a cool demeanor. If one of the divorced parents starts a fight, the other parent must remain calm. A therapist can help discharge the anger of the difficult parent and can help provide options on how to manage stress. Arguments can waste time that should be focused on settling important matters that involve the best interests of the child.

A child needs access to both parents, even if the parents are divorced. The ex-spouses should understand that their emotions can influence the relationship with their child. In the event that tension is high, a parent may wish to seek the help of a family law legal professional.

Source: The Huffington Post, "When Your Ex-spouse and Co-parent Won't Cooperate ," Betsy Ross, Oct. 29, 2013

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