How Communicating in Healthy Ways Can Speed Up Your Divorce

Dealing with divorce can be much simpler when you communicate effectively.

The decision to get divorced likely isn't something you came to overnight. Chances are that you and your partner grew apart slowly, over time. In some cases, you may feel like you never truly knew your partner. In other cases, you might just believe that you've grown apart and are ready to move forward with your lives in separate ways. No matter what circumstances led to your divorce, it's important to remember to try to communicate in ways that are healthy and effective. Not only can doing so ease the transition to single life, but this can actively speed up the process of divorce. Here's what you need to know.

First off, keep in mind that you and your partner will need to talk during the divorce. You'll have a lot of joint decisions that you need to make, so you need to try to put aside previous arguments and disagreements in order to move forward. You'll have to decide who will get the house, how you'll sell the summer home, and what personal belongings each of you will walk away with. In order to do this, you'll need to sit down with one another and talk carefully and honestly about what your desires are. If you're busy slinging insults at each other, you'll both walk away hurt, so try to keep the conversation neutral and focused as you work on this together.

It's also important to communicate carefully so that you can decide how your kids will move forward. Who will they live with? Will you share parenting time? Will they have a primary residence? Will you divide their time equally? It's a good idea to talk with your kids about their desires during this time. Chances are that they may have a preference as to where they'll live. Talking with your partner and your kids about your options can help you to move forward quickly, as the process won't be elongated and drawn out due to lack of communication. If talking with one another is too painful, bring in a mediation specialist who can help you.

When you and your partner speak with each other, keep the conversation task-oriented. If you need to schedule a meeting with your attorneys, go ahead and do that, but don't allow yourselves to get side-tracked. You don't need to rehash old fights or disagreements. You've already made the decision to get divorced, which means that the fights are over. The arguments have ended. You no longer need to resolve any old fights because you have already chosen how you are going to move forward. Instead of fighting, focus on completing tasks together so that you can move forward and away from the relationship. One mistake couples make is choosing to ignore one another due to the pain of the separation. Don't do this. Ignoring one another can lead to missed court dates and misunderstandings. Instead, talk with one another promptly so you can move forward.

When you're ready to separate from your partner, reach out to a divorce attorney who understands your situation and who can help you.